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Death by Umbrella (ebook)
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DEATH BY UMBRELLA! THE 100 WEIRDEST HORROR MOVIE WEAPONS by Christopher Lombardo and Jeff Kirschner
“Use the combos, keep the feet light. This is it.”
That’s Vincent Craig Dupree as boxing champ Julius, psyching himself up for a showdown with, of all people, unstoppable killer Jason Voorhees, in Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989). Perhaps unfamiliar with the fact that a goalie mask is meant to stop rock-hard vulcanized rubber flying at 100 mph, his fists prove laughably ineffective. Jason’s though, are anything but. He punches Julius’s head clean off with one right cross.
A fist might seem like unconventional weaponry compared with the knives and axes usually deployed by unspeaking, unfeeling, unstoppable killers in horror films—and it is—but a fist doesn’t even scratch the surface of the weird ways people have been killed in horror.
Horror movie victims have had ears of corn buried in their backs; been decapitated by basketballs; lacerated by avant-garde sculptures; skewered by mounted deer antlers; bludgeoned by pogo sticks; punctured with unfurled umbrellas.
Discover these oddball deaths and some even stranger ways killers have gone about their grisly business—MOs that would leave even the most seasoned coroner shaking their head—provided that it’s still attached—for in the world of horror, no one is safe.